I was vigilant when you thought you were smart

Beauty of thoughts resides indeed in the words expressed with words in proximity. Beauty is more magnified when expressed with the flux of emotions, some time intended another time true.

Here I’ll be dealing with few logics to serve my purpose to confront you to my core motive that is how to approximate the nature a person bears. Though this may not be the only basis and it may depend on the situation a person is in.

We can’t be vigilant throughout our life, even for a day it is not possible. Most of the times when we remain vigilant and conscious, set of actions we perform are outcome whose basis is our hardwired beliefs. I have use hardwired as these beliefs have been imbibed by our mind in a course of long time based on our older beliefs that we have been constantly learning, questioning and finally accepting it as it is and another time with some modification while few a time just opposite. As it is hardwired, we respond truly when in adversity, when there is time dearth and this is the pure morals and beliefs that we have been feeding.

Some beliefs need to be hidden; we know that, so most of us try to veil it under the sheath of other beliefs. Most of the activity, decision we take is mere but result of our belief. In order to hide few of the beliefs which we think will not be readily acceptable, we do lots of brainstorming before presenting our views while we mitigate some of our core beliefs and escalate another even worse some time we present something that is really contrast to our belief.

We react truly in comply with our beliefs in abrupt and adventitious situation. Even we react similarly when we picture ourselves better, smart over other fellow people while we are engaged in with them in some activities. Here the crux of demeanour can be easily broken to see the real outlook one bears.

When you think you are smart enough to outwit someone and serve your motive but actually you are not always smart rather sometime obtuse too. This is the time your true beliefs come into play, the belief you have been hiding that was not readily acceptable but your narrowness and obtuseness have unveiled it. Though you may be oblivion at that moment to notice the cheap act or decision you took but others were not. It is common that they will not question you and even condone your cheap tricks but the impression their mind captures relevant to you gets hardwired in their subconscious mind.

Imprint you left on others mind can act mysteriously against you however you had thought that those small activities was not significant enough that anyone can hardly remember. Partially you are correct they will lose the memory of your cheap act but the impression you left gets hardwired in the form as a significant parameter pertinent to you. Parameter may be such as cheap, dishonest, unscrupulous, helping, pure hearted etc. on basis you acted in proximity to them.

Your future had lost some human who will certainly not be your supporter, they will not nod always on your voice, neither they will be in consensus with your every thoughts readily. How hard these people try to be unbiased and even they think they are unbiased and their decision will not be tainted by biasness but their subconscious mind will anyhow will be biased without known to them.

Impression you left is due to the shrewdness, selfishness and the only way you can’t lose trust of person or you will not taint their decision in respect to you is that you never step over others tails, never foray their means, objectives to benefit yourself.

A Day In Heaven

Ambient temperature, swift cool breeze touching and passing by the exhausted sore body, more than enough to make the ever vigilant eyes to lid down as smoothly as honey flowing over the slightly tilted glass. It thrusts the weightless body (as in dreams) to the gateway of dreams and fantasies. Ever fantasized coveted dreams are lived only in dreams, nowhere else.

                Chirping of birds, shaking leaves, fragrance was all around felt well acquainted too, dispersed rays forming fringes were coming across from to me penetrating through the dense forest and dew perched at the end of the gravity bent leaves. This panoramic beauty had induced the curiosity in me to see across, the extreme beauty may be embraced. Curiosity was there to acknowledge myself how much beautiful it could be on other side as to that what my rolling eyes were only trying to capture which was nothing but tinge of whole panorama.

Low height branches had opened it arms to hold me and stopped me, made me realize the beauty I had been passing through. I bowed a little saving myself from lowly height branches and scratches that could have hampered my mood of quest. Fragrance was getting intense with every step I moved, I held my pace slow and steady to relish what been around freed myself to be sorry to miss any slightest of the beauty. Soothing fragrance never let me deviated from path I had been through in spite of I got salivated by fruits all around even few were just inches above my head, but I continued. I continued my journey to reach across though flower bed path never felt ending still I kept my feet restless, just to experience the extremum.

                Kept my pace as steady as it’s been, journey never seemed ending. Now it was twilight, beauty glistered many fold nevertheless of dim light, it was just awesome. Already such a long and pious journey had wrecked my spirit to continue, revitalization of my body was an essence; I plucked fruits hanging around me and savoured my ever greedy stomach. Thirst can never be better soothed as than that by the sparkling little water droplets rolling down the leaves passing through my oesophagus to deep down into my burning stomach. I thought to have a small nap in nature’s lap. I lay down to redeem my body from such a never exhausting but long journey with hope to reach the other side next day. I lay down over the twigs and leaves felt pulled inside in the lap of comfort an inexplicable experience. My ever vigilant eyes had got oblivion but something so attention seeking made my eye lens focused over the beauty of the moon and its cooling sensation that had made that night memorable for ever and ever.

                Water droplets fell over my chin and then chirping of birds had woken me up, I rubbed my eyes and scanned around; again I rubbed my eyes. I got my throat choked, heart beat stopped, got breathless and mind stunned. Never knew I was already there but knew that then. All what I experienced on commence of my voyage, now stars were added to that beauty. My legs were shivering to move over the flowerbed path to avoid ruining the beauty. I moved few smalls steps, saw the sun just rising from in between “H” shaped cliff then it was on the upper half of the “H” shaped cliff. Beauty got more intense by waterfall’s water falling from horizontal line of the “H” shaped cliff. I moved my eyes down to the sink of water. Down there was a source of unknown but acquainted fragrance that consistently pulled me towards itself. An epitome of beauty was there, who had exaggerated the natures beauty to an inexplicable notch. It was her who for I have been waiting, and she kept herself awaited for me.

                That “H” shaped cliff had already given me the omen that I was already in the heaven but I decoded then after the two beauties of nature, one the panorama itself and another the girl came across together in front of my eyes. Literally, I didn’t experience all that described but still I feel I did. All that I saw in the quite but still revealing eyes of her and the heaven all I described was all, all in her eyes.

                I just, wished to be in her eyes.

An Answer In Solitary

Human being with inbuilt trait, trait to resolve problems only when find himself engulfed in jaws of dread. Quest accelerates to uncurl the complexity in his life, freeing himself from time of distress. Regardless of standards of morality, he seeks for path in himself but mostly prefer if other can provide. Flattering for gathering few helping hands in return praising them, but unknowingly put their feet at wrong place, making themselves dependable cluster of flesh; what if that helping hands just disappear.

                Options in life need to be explored present in ample in around us. Escapism is the most common path most human adapt. Untroubled life, full of enjoyment is what most of us desire, though we knew excess of sugar in life diseases us. We knew biggest enjoyment meant, felt only after the biggest trouble subdued.

                Much of the time spent only for an answer, simple yet worth million dollars. What we ought to do and how? Search for this answer stretches our limbs to various difficult and troubled corners. Finally, we explore an answer was in between oneself and particular destiny.

                Linearly growing age dawn a way to exponentially growing needs. Needs enough to reciprocate the desire once was there to live the dreams surpassing the thorny ways. Someone had rightly said “limit of human is he himself”. Dreams can’t be gained and lived in a flick of eyes, bigger you desire more it costs you, your determination, faith and time.

Best repository to acquaint with such paradigms is history. Talking about history many great inventors, writers, poets, philosophers and scientists were not great by birth but approach they had, had toward living their dreams. But how did they happen to dream such a thing to live? What they did and other didn’t, they devoted time for cause. What they gained? They enriched themselves with approach to tackle temporary periods of distress so they can live their dreams. All great people of all time had devoted time for themselves before and after they had answer to question “what they ought to do?”, but how do they reached to that answer?

                These great legends had spent enormous time thinking what they ought to do? In return bestowed and enriched with idea and ideas worth life fruiting, making world a better place to mushroom. Answer they had when peace of mind gained. Answer they had had in solitary. But how have they had answer in solitary? Less you are in touch with useless, destructive people, less you have ill and time wasting thoughts, occupied in mind. More original and constructive, creative thoughts may come in your mind. You simply increase the probability to catch constructive thoughts in aura around you when you spent less time with useless fellow and giving an ear to their thoughts.

Moment And Its Evaluation

In life till this moment, we had seen, experienced and cherished countless emotions, colour and moments. Sometime we enjoyed a lot, sometime we don’t. Sometime we achieved, another time our close ones. We celebrated with them, another time they did with us.

            We enjoyed in controlled manner and another time letting us free to flow in gushing emotions of unselfish stream better say frenzied. We often feel brimmed and sometime below par.

Few a time we restrain ourselves, due problems or pains we have not yet explored consciously but unconsciously our mind did and vice versa.

Feelings and another time special feelings, people treat it as special are merely the result of gushing bloods with absorbed hormones through arteries and veins to various body organs producing hallucinating ethereal experience of being at consummate, brimmed with joy another time drown in relentless sorrow.

Joy honeys each syllables floating out of our tongue pleases us and others too, in lagniappe pleases us even more. Even abusiveness doesn’t screw us. We feel in your chest that everything is just perfect, beyond imagination.

Sorry to cliff the writings with the passage put forth: think deeply and thoroughly how many times before this, you felt just alike that life can’t be any better than this. It was then only the matter of time that exaggerated the intensity of very feeling, though you may have had far better moments relished in your life. But at that very moment many a time, many person been blinded by their success in the hand but later that feeling fainted, you might have given a thought over it; was that the very special and the best thing earned till time, if then also your mind after proper reckoning produces the same result, than it was the moment. So you enjoyed that moment or not.

Over enjoying can ruin but under enjoying can do no better. Give a moment to think before you enjoy and to extent you should enjoy (in context of time, money, energy, or any valuable thing at stake). You are hardly conscious about time you been willing away, may be it’s the time for most coveted moment you been working on, so each second you waste, you distance yourself from first.

Don’t think over everything written above in depth. Moment you have, enjoy it to fullest, as it may be the most important success in your life to enjoy or you may be losing the most precious time of your life for biggest achievement yet to come. Think judiciously.

Serendipity

Varanasi station was in 2 minutes, train was decelerating. I stood nearby the door, eyed off to the floras outside, for beauty it embraced within. Vista was worth at least saying beautiful, it was foggy and freezing, and enough to thrust over and in my head to believe being on some movie set; heaven scene being filmed.

            Stepped down of the train, walked a few steps on platform number 1, in foggy and freezing ambient day, someone average height, fair skin, hair as black as dark night, a very small mole a little above her upper lips, deer’s eyes, baby’s like innocence, glow on her visage confused me was it full moon at 6 in the morning, and of course feeling short of words to describe her entirely. Her scenic view held me for moments but i ignored, moved on, and grabbed a cup of coffee back on my way to home.

            Serendipitously, time worth for grabbing coffee, did the job at exit door. She fell over I, my head struck the floor, got unconscious for moments due to the sudden jolt. Her polite and too adoring enquiry “Are you ok?” for few seconds, I was unconsciously unable to answer and for few more, intentionally. Intentionally, to feel warmth and freshness of her breathe and alluring fragrance of her body.

            She enquired again “Are you ok?”

I replied” yes, yes, no, no, yes, yes, yes I’m ok”

She: I’m sorry, I’m extremely very sorry

Me: it’s ok, it’s ok

She revealed her name, I told mine

She: so, where are you heading to?

Me:  Sonbhadra, and you

She: first of all to grab a cup coffee, you must come I owe you

Me: no (though I wanted to say yes)

She: please come, else I’ll think you haven’t forgiven me

(That’s a six I was waiting for, and “no” to a beautiful lady, never)

Me: ok, but that wasn’t your fault, not at all

She: and what you doing presently?

Me: en…. engineering and you

Our talks continued for long, and I was getting late for home, so I had to leave that beautiful girl in order to catch bus. But for the golden opportunity like this I let myself free to flow in some more detailed and quality conversation, with the girl of my dreams. Moment latter experienced rowdy crowd behind were shouting on me to get out of the stopped train. Now, I was awake out of my day dreaming, they the fellow passengers made me realize that she, she was really the girl of my dreams.

All incidents are mere fiction and any resemblance to anyone’s life is merely a co-incidence nothing else.